Distorted thinking is so common in our thought processes that you might even say it was "normal." Distorted thinking is screening reality through a negative filter so that most events can seem negative. We think many thousands of thoughts a day and the average person has about 75-90% of their thoughts focused on: Repetitive thoughts (the same thoughts day after day) and distorted or negative thoughts. Whether it's our culture, our early childhood training or traumatic events that bring us into a negative state: this negative state can be broken.
It takes discipline, discovery and self nurturing to turn your thoughts into a more positive framework, but it can be done! Distorted thinking styles was first written about by Dr. Albert Ellis. Look at the list below and see how you distort your thinking.
DICHOTOMOUS THINKING - Also known as Polarized, All-or-Nothing or Black-&-White Thinking. Thinking in extremes, it's either right or wrong, with no possibility of any grey areas in between.
Filtering. Focusing on the negative details and ignoring the positive. As well as magnifying the negative aspects. In situations that involve both positive and negative elements, you dwell on the latter.
DISCOUNTING - Downplaying and disregarding the positive. Phrases like: 'That doesn't count,' 'That wasn't good enough,' or 'Anyone could have done it.' Sometimes humor or sarcasm is used to downplay what one feels uncomfortable about.
CATAZTROPHIZING - Awfulizing or Magnification. Expecting disaster... 'what if this happens or that happens' and expecting the worst possible outcome. Exaggerating the importance of problems, shortcomings, and minor annoyances. Something minor goes wrong and the assumption is that it is a major problem. Tendency to expect the worst possible scenario.
MIND READING - Assuming you know what the other person is thinking and feeling about you or your situation. As well as reading into their motivation and intention.
Emotional Reasoning. Believing that what you feel is the way things really are.. automatically. Assuming that because you feel a certain way, that is the truth. 'I feel stupid, boring.. so I am stupid or boring.'
"SHOULDING" ON YOURSELF - A list of rules that everyone in the world and their families should live according to. Also statements with 'must' 'ought to' and 'have to' You feel enraged when others break those rules.
In order to change the outcome you must change your thinking. Both "positive" and "negative" events happen daily. It's your choice about what you perceive about the event. The outcome is dramatically different based on your thinking.
There are a variety of ways to incorporate more positive ways of thinking into your daily life. Here are just a few.
1. Create a baseline of your thoughts. Over the course of one day, create a tally of every time you think, say to someone else or participate in a conversation that is positive. Also, create a tally each of the times you think, say to someone else or participate in a conversation that is negative.
2. Now, every time you think or say something negative, place a mental stop sign up. Stop what you are thinking or saying. Re-phrase or re-frame it into a positive statement. If you can't make it positive, simply internally tell yourself to stop and then move on.
3. If there is a particular negative focus i.e. weight, money, health, relationships. Write positive affirmations for that area of your life.
4. Observe people who seem to be happy a great deal. Listen to what they say to others and about themselves. Model their behavior and also say those great things to yourself.
6. Have a one or two word mantra that you can repeat easily i.e. peace, love, breathe, acceptance, life or other words.
7. Write down what you are grateful for every morning or every evening.
8. Recognize your own magnificence.
9. Congratulate yourself for small changes.
10. Write affirmations and place those on your dashboard, mirror, or jewelry box.
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Dr. Iris Fanning is a Nationally recognized Success Coach. Dr. Fanning is a graduate of Coach University, Honorary Doctorate in Divinity, M.A. degree in Psychology, Counseling & Guidance and a B.S. degree in Psychology. Additionally Iris is the self published author of "Change Your Life Right Now" c 2006 and "Do What You Love & Get Rich" c 2006. Dr. Fanning is also an in demand public speaker. Individual and group coaching is also available. Contact: coachiris@hotmail.com Please place Coaching in the subject line.
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